Innovation360

Overcoming OxyContin.

When I met Jack, he was an undergraduate student who had no ambition to finish his degree…and he truly had no motivation in life if it didn’t relate to doing drugs. He isolated himself from anyone that cared about him, and sadly, OxyContin became his only source of drive in life. He lacked direction and was completely entangled in this addiction. His family had reached the point of utter despair and lost all hope in his future. After spending a lot of time with Jack I realized that he did indeed, deep down, desire to live a meaningful life, achieve his goals, and rid himself of addiction. However, his addiction had trapped him for so long that it fed him lies, convincing him that he was not good enough to deserve or achieve any of those things.

Most people never intend to get hooked on the highly addictive OxyContin.  But it is relatively easy for a person to obtain it, to take a few pills, or even the whole bottle to experience euphoria. And that is usually how an addiction to OxyContin begins. There are behavioral, physical, and social changes that begin to occur. An addict can lose motivation and become irritable and apathetic. Most people with this addiction become withdrawn and express little interest in the things they used to enjoy. The rehab process can be long and painful, but it can pave the road to recovery and allow the addicted person a chance to regain their life!

Jack began treatment with Innovation 360 and I was part of the Life Development Team that helped him learn how to live well again. It was a daily battle for him at first but he pressed through the hard road and we were right there with him. It wasn’t long before I started to notice changes. He was beginning to focus on school and put effort into his classes, striving to fight against his addiction, and engage in meaningful conversations and relationships. His life story began to take a new direction.  Jack went on to graduate with his bachelor’s degree and later obtained a great job. As I sat there and watched him walk that stage to receive his diploma, Jack had a big grin on his face that I’ll never forget.   He was grinning cheek to cheek because he overcame. He overcame his addictions and turned his life around. He couldn’t have done it alone; reaching out for help is what saved him.  As it enfolds, his life story continues to promote a positive tale as he maintains his sobriety and uses his personal experiences with addiction to help others that are going through the very things he did.

What a great inspiration Jack has become to many others and me!

Kelby ~ Life Development Team      5/17/12

Remembering the “Painter of Light,” Thomas Kinkade

He was known as the “Painter of Light” as he created on canvas the world we wished we lived in.  “People wish they could find that stream, that cabin in the woods,” Thomas Kinkade said of his artwork.  But as he brushed away at scenes of tranquility and peacefulness, his personal life told a very different story.

Kinkade was a self-made phenomenon with an estimated 1 in 20 American homes owning a copy of his artwork.  He was internationally recognized in galleries all over the world. But as successful as he became, he was wrapped up in his own personal battle of despair and heartbreak. His wife separated from him, legal issues arose within his business, and he began to battle a disease called alcoholism. And at the young age of 54, it was alcohol that killed him. The coroner declared an accidental overdose of alcohol and Valium; he had been drinking heavily prior to his death.

Kinkade was a gifted individual and left behind so much beauty in his paintings. If only his life story could have encompassed the same peace he painted over all those years.  Kinkade’s story is more common than we first realize, possibly just less shared. It is our hope that our community can lend a helping hand to those in need. It‘s our duty to reach out and get them the treatment they require.  Our hearts go out to Kinkade and we take a moment to remember him, and all he left behind.

Lauren Barnett, Outreach Coordinator     5/11/12

Giving up or Letting Go?

By Pam Newton, M.S., LCDC and the Wednesday Women’s Group

A hurting mother recently said to me, “I have no hope that my son will ever stop doing drugs.  I feel so defeated and tired of this fight.  I give up.”  When I saw the mom a couple of months later, she looked brighter and seemed less burdened.  She told me that she and her husband had started going to Families Anonymous where they met other parents dealing with the same issues with their children.  She told me that she had learned the difference between giving up and letting go.

Surrendering and letting go are very common concepts in the field of addiction and mental health.  Time and time again, addicts and alcoholics tell their story of me finally surrendering and fighting to control their disease, when true miracles occurred in their lives; some instantly and others over time.

I have been asked by clients to help them understand the difference.  I decided to turn to some experts, my Wednesday Women’s Group, to get their feedback the amazing women in this group are recovering from addiction/alcoholism.  Some struggle with other underlying emotional issues such as depression and anxiety.  They have varying degrees of sobriety.  Some have been struggling for this disease for 20 years.  Most are mothers with children ages 2 weeks to 40 years of age.  Here are some of their comments:

“Giving up is darkness, Letting go is light.”

“Letting go /surrendering involves a connection to God.  Giving up doesn’t.”

“Giving up is your will.  Surrender/letting go is God’s will.”

“Letting go involves being okay with the result.”

“There is hope in letting go.  Giving up implies hopelessness.”

“It is releasing as opposed to dropping something of someone”.

“I had to give up before I could let go.  I think I had to walk through the darkness of giving up to get to the light of letting go.  You should not stop in the dark.”

And from The Language of Letting Go by Melody Beattie:

“Letting go doesn’t mean we don’t care. Letting go doesn’t mean we shut down. Letting go means we stop trying to force outcomes and make people behave. It means we give up resistance to the way things are, for the moment. It means we stop trying to do the impossible–controlling that which we cannot–and instead, focus on what is possible–which usually means taking care of ourselves. And we do this in gentleness, kindness, and love, as much as possible.”

For more information on our Women’s Support Group, contact Pam Newton at 214-284-4080 or newton@i360life.com.

Why Your Relationships are Shallow

Through my work in individual and marital therapy, I frequently hear many similar complaints from different patients. These complaints include feeling lonely, unexpected bursts of anger, bouts of unexplained sadness, and a general feeling of disconnect. These bothersome feelings puzzle my patients and often leave them drained and frustrated. Sometimes, they understand that their lives are out of balance, but don’t understand exactly how or why. Normally, one or more of the following four idols are present and help cause a relational disorientation or blurriness. These idols cause a shallowness in life. While you might believe that you maintain deep, healthy relationships, I challenge you to read on and reevaluate the way you have structured your life. Have the following idols limited your capacity to truly know others and be known by others?

1. Social Media. NEWS FLASH: 99% of your Facebook and Twitter friends…aren’t really your friends. And don’t believe for a second that Facebook actually helps grow those so called friendships. Looking at someone’s Facebook timeline is like watching a highlight reel of their life. The bad parts are omitted and the good parts are amplified. When’s the last time you saw a status that read, “Acted like a selfish jerk today. Ignored the kids and yelled violently at our family dog. LOL.”

Healthy, face to face interaction with others fulfills a deep need in us-the need to be known and know others. This is doing life with others. By failing to do life with others and allowing them to see all your insecurities and fears, you deprive yourself of something life giving…something deep and sacred. Your highlight reels may entertain and amuse others, but your blooper reels connect and bond you to others.

2. Work. There is nothing more heart wrenching than seeing a man retire, reflect back on his life, and realize that rather than love, support and strengthen those around him, he spent his life slaving away at a career that left him alone to die by himself. His sons and daughters resent him and only visit him sparingly. I’ve seen the dread in men’s eyes as they realize there are few people on the face of the planet who would care if they were rotting in a casket or not. Amassing wealth and power provide many with identity and security, but eventually leave them broken, alone, and hurting.

No one tries to end up this way. It begins by working hard to support a family. Eventually, it turns into disengaging at home by the faint glow of an ipad, ignoring a family that was once treasured. Later nights at the office and working on the weekends follow. It ends by waking up one day and realizing that the career you put so many hours into stole something from you that you can never get back. With terror, you realize the love and companionship you now want most is gone…wasted away…never to return…

3. Your spouse. There are 2 prevailing themes in every romantic Hollywood movie: 1) Love is a feeling. 2) Loving someone will somehow magically and drastically transform your life, your loneliness, and your brokenness. Both are blatant “Bachelor-esque” lies and both create heavy, illusory expectations that couples are crushed by. Just look at our US divorce rate.

Love is a choice…a decision we choose to make day in and day out. It has little to do with a passionate, dramatic kiss in the pouring rain or a magical moment where two soul mates lock eyes and “fall” in love. Finding meaning and contentment has nothing to do with your spouse. That aching need to feel fully accepted and loved will never be filled by your partner. And, the harder you try to place your partner in that role, the more they will resent you and be crushed by the weight of being your “everything.” Jerry Maguire was wrong. You don’t complete me….

4. Your children. While you may never say your child is your god, your actions scream it out loud. When your date nights stop and your weekends are jam packed with sports, recitals, and performances…you send the message to your kids, “You are more important than your mom or dad, and I would rather keep you entertained than develop my own friendships or marriage.”

You do your children a massive disservice by leading them to believe that they are the center of the universe…because no one else outside of your family thinks they are! Children who think they are the center of your world will have trouble forming friendships, yielding to authority, holding a job, and even adapting to marriage. Your children will unsuccessfully spend their entire lives searching for people who think they are as incredibly amazing as you told them they were. They may turn to unhealthy, codependent relationships or live unsatisfied lives full of continual disappointment from never being loved the way they “deserve” to be loved.

Not only does this parenting style alienate your children, but it alienates your spouse. A daughter once asked her wise father, “Daddy, if you were in a raft and me and mommy were drowning, who would you save?” The wise father instantly replied, “Honey, not only would I swim and save your mother first, but I would make sure she was completely dry and comfy before I came back for you.”

Addictions and Human Responsibility

If you work with individuals and families struggling with addictions long enough, you know that some key questions are inevitably raised: “Why can’t she just say no to these drugs?” or “Are you telling me that just because addiction is a disease he is not responsible for anything?” Better yet, “I don’t understand why he still struggles with this if he is as determined to stay clean as he says he is.” All these questions have one theme in common: the role and limitations of human responsibility in the context of chemical dependence.

When someone first chooses to experiment with an addictive substance, he has greater ability to resist consuming that substance again. Continued exposure to drugs over time, however, tends to progressively weaken the user’s emotional, physiological, and spiritual ability to say no. In a way, we can understand addiction to drugs as the progressive enslavement of the person’s will to a substance or substances that become especially enticing to the individual due to biological, psychological, social, spiritual, and existential factors both within and outside his control. The graph below illustrates the interplay between the user’s ability to choose not to use drugs and frequent exposure to a given substance over time.

Brain research has taught us that once someone develops tolerance to a substance and goes through withdrawal when exposure to the drug is suspended, that person has diminished his ability to say no to that substance. Saying that chemical dependence distorts one’s ability to make choices, however, is not the same as saying that such ability is completely erased. Note that according to the graph above, one’s ability to choose never reaches zero. This is a subtle but essential concept. Were this not the case, there would be a point where an addicted individual would no longer have any ability whatsoever to choose how to be, how to act, or how to relate to his addiction.

Existentially, however, that is not possible. As long as one is self-aware, he has some sense of freedom of choice left within him—no matter how dismal that may be. Someone who has been addicted to alcohol for decades may not be able to choose never to struggle with alcohol again, but he may be able to make smaller and equally significant choices, such as reaching out for help when cravings come his way. Wisdom is needed to discriminate between what the alcoholic in question can and cannot control; what he is free to choose and what he is not. A proper understanding and acceptance of such distinction seems to be crucial to one’s ability to deal with his chemical dependence successfully. This seems to be the essence of the Alcoholics Anonymous famous serenity prayer: “God grant us the serenity to accept the things we cannot change, courage to change the things we can, and wisdom to know the difference.”

BoMF -Back On My Feet-

In the early hours of the morning, before most of the city of is awake, there is a community running. The group is a merging of two worlds. Men and women who are experiencing homelessness, and a group of men and women who desire to love them well. The result is a community where all are treated as equals. Ultimately, lives are changed.

Back on My Feet (BoMF) is a nonprofit organization that promotes the self-sufficiency of homeless populations by engaging them in running as a means to build confidence, strength and self-esteem. The program is unique in that it does not provide food or shelter.  Instead provides a community that embraces equality, respect, discipline, teamwork and leadership. There are no labels, no stigmas and no stereotypes. All members – regardless of race, education or socioeconomic status – join together to move their own lives forward as well as the lives of their teammates.

For committed members, this group provides a community that many have never known – a group of individuals that don’t ask or require anything from them, and the results are profound.  Self-discipline is noticed.  Consistency is acknowledged.  Healthy relationships are the standard.  As a result, a great amount of pride is taken in what’s being accomplished and our members move their lives toward new, healthy goals.

For some, the transition is difficult.  Many members have life stories spotted with addiction, criminal records, unhealthy family dynamics, and a myriad of other life-altering human experiences.  While these issues provide difficult hurdles to overcome, they do not change the goal.  Back On My Feet works as hard as it’s members do to help find new paths.  The interaction in the mornings is only the beginning of something much greater, which is a new life path for those who are committed.  Here’s just an example of what has happened with the Dallas/Fort Worth teams since the city’s launch of the program in 2011.

• 51 members on 3 teams

• 68 members have run a race since February 2011

• 37 members have obtained employment since February 2011

• 22 members have obtained housing since February 2011

• 30 members have enrolled in job-training/re-education since February 2011

• Current percentage of members in Next Steps: 75%

Back on My Feet works by forming teams at homeless shelters in Dallas. Residents of those shelters have the option to join the team as long as they have been staying at the shelter for 30 days, have had a physical in the last 6 months, or agree to have one. All teams run three days a week (Monday, Wednesday, and Friday) at 5:45 and are running between 1 and 3 miles, with longer optional runs available on Saturdays. Additionally, BoMF holds a social event and participates in a local race every month. Attendance, mileage and attitude are tracked on every run and this is the data we reference to advance members through the program.  For members who maintain 90 percent attendance, the Next Steps program aligns them with educational and job training opportunities, financial literacy sessions, job partnership, addiction education and housing programs to help move their lives forward in a way that is self-sustainable. In addition, grant money is made available to the members for approved purchases or investments for building this new chapter of their lives.

The Next Steps program demands commitment not only in the form of continued 90 percent attendance, but also the completion of two financial literacy sessions, their GED and obtaining letters of recommendation from their facility and BoMF teammates. It costs BoMF $1,800 to host a member in our program with $1,250 of this figure serving as a financial aid for each member to move their life forward.

For a lot of the volunteers, this group has become like a family. I think I can speak for so many, when I say that Back On My Feet, and the relationships formed early each morning are irreplaceable. With so many experiencing homelessness in Dallas alone, it’s imperative that this relatively unknown population is reached. If we truly believe that everyone deserves to be known and that their story is worthy of hearing, then….help!

Examining Your “Relationship” with Alcohol

April:  Alcohol Awareness Month

This month, throughout the U.S., there will be meetings, conferences, and special events geared towards bringing awareness to the topic of alcohol use, abuse, and dependence. Perhaps you see this and think, “I don’t need to read any further. My drinking isn’t a problem.” To that I say, “Great! Why don’t you take a look at the questions below and confirm that perspective?”

Examining Your “Relationship” with Alcohol (Psychology Today):

o Why do you drink?

o How often do you drink? Can you go more than a week 
without drinking?

o Have you tried to control your drinking and if so, how
 much time do you spend thinking about drinking or about
 how not to drink too much?

o Can you imagine your life without alcohol?

Friendships:

o What activities do you and your friends like to do
 together?

o Do you have friends who do not drink?

o Can you socialize or go to parties without drinking?

Interests:

o What is your favorite thing to do?

o Do you have interests, activities and hobbies that do
 not involve drinking?

o Does drinking alcohol distract you from taking part in
 these things?

Career/Academics:

o Does drinking interfere with your job, your grades 
and/or the effort you exert (even slightly)?

o Do you excel professionally/academically and use your
 success as an excuse to drink?

o Is alcohol your reward for working hard or doing your
academics?

Family:

o What is the drinking culture of your family?

o Do you hide your drinking from your family?

o Do you have a family history of alcohol problems?

If after answering these questions, you feel comfortable with your drinking, then I would challenge you to consider plugging in other behaviors/habits (pot, exercise, work, caffeine, spending) in the place of alcohol to get a pulse on your management of those things as well. It’s a month of awareness and knowing your patterns and struggles will only help you on the road to a well-balanced, self-aware life.

Healing Starts at Home: 3 Day Seminar

Our Healing Starts at Home seminar can help you build a positive home environment for loved ones struggling with depression, anxiety, failure-to-transition or addictions. Leading experts in the field of Family Counseling will explain important principles that will help unite your family as you face the challenges of helping a family member along the road to lasting recovery.

At Innovation 360, we help some people stop using alcohol and drugs and others learn how to cope with depression or anxiety.  But we don’t stop there. Ultimately, we want to be an integral part of the process of helping our clients’ develop a new sense of identity—to help them see themselves in such a way that their relationships and overall way of functioning in the world becomes much more meaningful and satisfying to them.

We know from clinical training, experience, and research that individuals are much more likely to engage in significant change when they are accompanied by those who are closest to them. It’s difficult to become a new person in an old environment. It’s even more difficult to do so when our relationships are stuck in old ways of functioning.

The Innovation 360 Healing Starts at Home seminar is another step toward our efforts to facilitate growth and healing in the lives of our clients and their family members. It will consist of three days filled with mutual support and encouragement among family members and great information delivered by some of the best professionals in the area.

The 3-day seminar will include the following sessions:

Thursday, May 10
6:30 pm – 7 pm
Refreshments & Introductions

7 pm – 7:30 pm
Goals, Expectations & Objectives

7:30 pm – 8 pm
“Balanced and Unbalanced Family Systems” – Dr. Kevin Gilliland & Pam Newton

Friday, May 11
9 am – 10:30 am
“System Roles and Rules” – Pam Newton

10:45 am – Noon
Group A: “Pleasure Unwoven” A video discussion led by Dr. Kevin Gilliland

Group B: Psychoeducational group – Joa Braga

Noon – 1:15
Lunch break

1:30 pm – 3:00 pm
“Family Communication” – Joa Braga

3:15 pm – 4:30 pm
“Boundaries and Limit Setting” – Lee Long and Dr. Atiksson

Saturday, May 12
9 am – 10:30 am
“Spirituality” – Joa Braga

10:45 am – Noon
“Self Care” – Pam Newton

Speakers
- Dr. Kevin Gilliland, Clinical Director at Innovation 360
- Joa Braga, Manager of Clinical Services at Innovation 360
- Pam Newton, Counselor & Family Educator
- Lee Long, Director of Counseling at Restoration and TLC
- Dr. Debra Atkinson

Location
Cooper Aerobics Guest Lodge
12200 Preston Road
Dallas, Texas 75230
972-386-0306

Cost per family (1 to 3 persons)
- $450 for current/former Innovation 360 clients
- $650 for non-Innovation 360 clients

Accommodations
The Cooper Aerobics Guest Lodge rests quietly among the beautiful grounds of North Dallas, and gives families an opportunity to meet in a neutral, comfortable environment. Group rates are available for Healing Starts at Home seminar attendees. We strongly encourage our families to stay at the Cooper Guest Lodge during that time so they can step away from the numerous distractions of life and get make the most of their time during the Healing Starts at Home seminar.

Reservations
Contact Ms. Kayla Proffitt for Healing Starts at Home seminar reservations at (713) 444-1020 or email her at proffitt@i360life.com.

i360 Welcomes Susan Hutchison

We’re honored to have veteran counselor Susan Hutchison join Innovation 360 as our Community Outreach Consultant! Susan is a native of Oklahoma and most recently served as Director for Chemical Awareness Resources & Education (C.A.R.E.).

During her time at C.A.R.E., Susan provided one-on-one counseling with families and individuals suffering from alcoholism/ drug addictions.  She also helped organize and manage community events and activities that created greater awareness of the support available to families and individuals suffering from substance abuse.  Susan graduated with a BS degree from Oklahoma State University with an emphasis in education and family relations & child development.

As the Community Outreach Consultant at Innovation 360, Hutchison will ensure individuals and families understand their options for addiction treatment, as well as educate families on substance abuse topics in groups.

“I’ve had family and friends who’ve suffered from the chokehold of chemical dependency in my own life,” said Hutchison.  “So I understand how it feels when you don’t know where to go for help.  During my career, I’ve helped people who admitted that addiction had taken over their lives, and they couldn’t overcome it alone. We were able to work with them to create a recovery plan that fit their circumstances. I’m grateful to be able to continue that work with the Innovation 360 team. They are a wonderful group of counselors who genuinely care for the people they’ve been entrusted to help.”

Failure of the Economy or Failure to Launch?

In the past week, a new report was published by the Pew Research Center with statistics illustrating the current cultural and economic climate of young professionals.  It’s estimated that three in ten young adults who left home to pursue a higher level of education or career have made their parents’ home their residence once again.  This probably isn’t a huge surprise given the present realities of an 8.3% national unemployment rate and an average student loan debt of $25,000 per student.  There are very justifiable reasons that have brought numerous young professionals back to their parents’ doorsteps with suitcases and boxes in tow.  Additionally, the stigma of “moving back in with my parents” is weakening as the frequency of this phenomena increases and as the country continues to acknowledge its current occupational difficulties.

Times are hard.  No one is disputing that.  And while it appears that job opportunities are on the rise, the lack of ease and success will be a consistent component of a current job search for some time.  But how do we distinguish between a hardworking young adult who is truly battling against a temporary economic struggle and an apathetic young adult who is taking advantage of his parents’ generosity and the decreasing stigma attached to living at home?

Below are questions that, if answered “yes,” may merit an evaluation of your family’s current operating system:

1. Is money (in addition to lodging, meals, etc.) being provided to my adult child with no expectations or consequences put upon him?
2. Do I question that my adult child is actively, observably looking for work?
3. Does my adult child consistently have excuses when interrogated about his perpetual unemployment?
4. Am I as a parent doing something for my adult child that he can or should do for himself?
5. Am I so preoccupied with my adult child’s wellbeing that I am neglecting my own personal desires or responsibilities?
6. Is my adult child’s perpetual residence in my home the source or catalyst for frequent arguments with myself and other family members?

If any of these questions resonate with you or spawn concern, the team at Innovation 360 is equipped to offer support and guidance through individual and family therapy, life development services, and education.